


Oh! Good Teen Top AU Series

by SpaceShaolin



Category: Teen Top (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25181827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceShaolin/pseuds/SpaceShaolin
Summary: Reworked and revived Teen Top stories from the vault. This is what happens when you leave your drafts on read for years and don't come back to them until later.
Kudos: 2





	1. L. Joe and the Zombies (Zombie Apocalypse AU)

Jonghyun had been the first of them to get infected.

Because he was the biggest and most fit of them all, he’d somehow gotten the idea that he should be the first person to charge at any zombie they encountered. His plan had worked for a while. With his intimidating bulk, he proved to be quite the huge and imposing force for the odd zombie. 

But he wasn’t thinking when he dashed in to save Niel and Changhyun from a whole swarm of them.

He wasn’t thinking when ran towards them, swinging a crowbar and a tree branch wildly like they were nunchucks, and yelling like he was some sort of superhero.

He’d saved them, but he hadn’t been able to escape from the swarm, and this, Byunghun thought grimly, might have been the plan all along.

He leaned against the wall, feeling his head grow heavy with so many dark thoughts and imaginary scenarios.

It was supposed to be a simple day-off for them. They were supposed to be having a simple barbeque outside the remote guest house they’d rented for their short vacation. His other members were supposed to be here with him now, helping him think of a way to escape the zombie horde unscathed.

How had things gone so wrong so quickly?

Had the news reported about it? He couldn’t remember. Not that it would matter anyway. No amount of news reports or movie knowledge would help them out now. Most of his members were gone. And now, it was up to him to make sure he survived the apocalypse with the last one who’d remained.

“This isn’t so bad,” Changhyun said, sneaking a peak outside the window. “At least Minsoo doesn’t look any different from before.”

Byunghun yanked him back down to the floor. “Focus,” he told him, smacking his head lightly when Changhyun began to snigger.

Against his better judgement, Byunghun went up to take a look outside. Changhyun was right, to a degree. Minsoo did look like he was only sleepwalking… if not for the blood trail dripping out of his mouth and his paler complexion.

He shook his head and went back to his hiding place under the window.

“This is just like in the movies,” Changhyun said. “I wonder how they knew how a zombie would be like? Almost everything they said’s been true so far.”

“Wouldn’t know.”

“See, we’re just like the characters from those movies. The brave hero and his helpful sidekick. Only we’re not being very brave right now. And I’m definitely not your sidekick, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Wasn’t thinking of anything.”

Changhyun didn’t say anything more afterwards and this caught Byunghun’s attention immediately. Silence from his younger members was always golden – but that had all been in the past, when he still _had_ younger members.

Now, it was just Changhyun, and the silence – especially silence from him, at this time – was more than a little unnerving.

“Changhyun?” he dared to ask, fearing he wouldn’t like the answer. “What’s wrong?”

It took a while before Changhyun lifted his head from the floor to look at Byunghun. When their eyes met, Byunghun already knew he’d been right. This wasn’t going to be good at all.

Changhyun choked back a sob. “I’m _scared,_ Byunghun.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He tried to think of something reassuring to say – anything – but came up short. “Me too,” was all he was able to give him.

Niel would have thought of something better to say. 

But Niel wasn’t here now.

Neither were the others. 

Byunghun paused, giving his companion a look.

At least he wasn’t completely alone. He still had Changhyun. And he wasn’t about to let him be so down and depressed about the situation - that was Byunghun’s job.

This was Yoo Changhyun here. Yoo Changhyun wasn’t one to easily despair, and this, in turn, was what had been encouraging Byunghun to feel the same. So what if they might not make it to a safe zone alive? Changhyun wasn’t about to die hopeless on his watch. Not if Byunghun could help it.

“Listen,” he said, giving the role of Encouraging Leader one more try. “I’m scared too. But I’m going to get us out of here, okay? I really will. Trust me on that.”

Changhyun mulled this over, then gave him a determined nod. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. I believe you. But how are we going to get past _them?_ ”

They went on their knees to peek outside the windows again. Fortunately, zombies were blind, so they were able to watch them unnoticed.

Their other band mates were not the only zombies shuffling about outside. Besides them, there were about five or seven more that Jonghyun had been unable to kill, although these ones were already beginning to wander off, losing interest in the place.

But for some reason, their zombified band mates weren’t showing any sign of leaving soon. Byunghun was unsure if this was going to be good for them or not.

They sat back down on the floor, weighing their options.

It was Changhyun who broke their contemplative silence. “It’s true, you know,” he said. “Minsoo’s totally the same. He looks right at home with those guys.”

Byunghun shook his head. “Knock it off,” he said. “Be serious here.”

“I _am_ serious!” Changhyun huffed. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

“I did. I just didn’t think it was worth mentioning.”

“Whatever. Did you think of something yet?”

“I _would,_ if you’d let me think in peace.”

Changhyun huffed again. “Looks like we’re going to be here for a while, then.” He settled down on the floor, making himself more comfortable. “Want to play I Spy while we wait? I’ll be really easy on you, I promise.”

“Not now.”

“How about arm wrestling? I mean, I’d totally _cream_ you, but I’d still go easy on you.”

“You only want to play that when you know you can win.”

“Do not.”

“Do too. How come you’ve never challenged Jonghyun or Niel?”

“They had sore arms, remember? I was being considerate.”

“Shut up. How do you feel about using a weapon out there?”

Changhyun shrugged. “I still have that crowbar. And a mop I found in one of the rooms here.” He sighed. “If only we had guns.”

“Do you even know how to use them?”

“No, but I still wish we had them.”

Byunghun bit back the retort that was about to leap out from his throat. He _did_ make a very good point he couldn’t deny. Guns would really be useful right about now.

“I’m hungry,” Changhyun said suddenly.

“Tell that to them.” Byunghun jerked a thumb behind him.

Changhyun laughed emptily. “Funny, funny,” he said. “When did you get so funny?”

“Someone has to be, around here.”

“I thought I was already being funny.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be the sidekick?”

Changhyun shut his mouth. If he had the energy, Byunghun would have gloated about this. But he was starving too.

Come to think of it, they all were, before all this happened.

Hence, their outdoor barbeque. Only… Chanhee hadn’t been with them when they fired up the grill. After they’d all belatedly realized that nobody had brought any food with them for the barbeque, they played a round of rock-paper-scissors. Chanhee had lost, which was why he’d been chosen to pick up supplies from a convenience store they’d passed on the way to the guest house.

Right. Where was he anyway?

“Picking up supplies at the convenience store, remember?” Changhyun replied automatically, but came to a full stop when he realized what he’d said.

“Byunghun,” he said. “You think he might still be okay?”

But Byunghun was not about to cling to a useless hope now. The zombie apocalypse had caught them all unawares – what were the odds Chanhee had survived on his own? He shook his head. He wasn’t going to dwell on it now.

“Of course, I’m totally sorry I didn’t call him up when Niel remembered the meat he forgot he brought.” Changhyun was still talking. “But that could have been a good thing, right? It might mean he’s still okay out there, right?”

“How should I know?” Byunghun replied. “He might’ve gotten infected too, if he’d stayed here.”

“But we never _know._ ” Changhyun was getting insistent now. “We were just lucky we were so close to the guest house when it happened.”

Byunghun shook his head. “We were lucky Minsoo pushed us in time when the other two ran for us.”

But he shut his eyes, willing the memory away. Byunghun understood that. If Jonghyun and Niel had run to take a bite out of him, he would have wanted to forget all about it too.

Changhyun made a small sound, forcing Byunghun to look back at him. “But what if?” he said. 

“Focus,” he said again, but whether this was directed towards himself or to Changhyun, he wasn’t sure. “We can’t be sure of anything, okay? Focus on here and now. When I get us out of here, the first thing we’re going to do is look for him. I promise.”

Changhyun stared at him in amazement. “No wonder you’re the best actor here,” he said. “You sounded like a movie star just now.”

Byunghun looked away, suddenly embarrassed. “This isn’t a movie,” he reminded his friend.

He shook his head. “It isn’t. But it might as well be. In fact, we could use an awesome soundtrack right about now.”

“No. What we need are weapons. Preferably guns.”

“But we don’t know how to use those things!”

“Yeah, but I still wish we had them.” He grinned at Changhyun, pleased when his statement brought some laughter out of him.

“Don’t worry, Byunghun,” Changhyun said. “In the zombie movies, two people always survive in the end. It’s like a rule, you know. So obviously, that’s us. Which means we’re going to be okay!”

Byunghun shook his head. “And what about Chanhee? Didn’t you say he might still be alive somewhere?”

“Oh, he’s just the side character. He’s got nothing compared to _us._ ”

This time, it was Byunghun’s turn to laugh. “That’s a movie,” he said. “This is real life. Get it together, I can’t have you going crazy on me now.”

“Hey, who said I was?”

Outside, the zombies continued to shuffle around aimlessly.

“You really think they eat brains?”

Byunghun shrugged, deciding to humor his younger member. It seemed that, with Changyun around, complete silence was going to be hard to come by. Not that he was complaining. It seemed he did his best thinking when somebody else was talking. Being a member of this team had forced him to adjust to that inevitability.

“Because it kind of makes you wonder how Minsoo got infected in the first place.”

“Hey, do you have a grudge against our leader or something?”

“Are you crazy?” Changhyun looked at him, shocked that he would suggest such a thing. “Nothing’s wrong. I just kind of miss him, that’s all.”

Byunghun decided to let this slide. Changhyun and Minsoo had had a very… _different_ sort of relationship, after all. Theirs was a relationship full of gentle insults and love taps to all parts of the body. People had their ideas, but if this was what made them happy…

“You guys are so weird.”

“Shut up, Byunghun, you’re just jealous I get preferential treatment.”

“How come when I do it, it’s called abuse?”

“That’s because it _is_ abuse.”

“You’re just scared that if you called it that before, he would have hit you harder.”

“Yes.” Changhyun was not about to deny the obvious, now that he’d been found out.

Byunghun leaned into the wall, smug that he’d figured it out. He did miss Minsoo and the others, though. They would have made the zombie outbreak a lot easier to handle. But even if it was just Changhyun with him now, he found that he was still able to make light of the whole mess.

They always did use to laugh in the face of smaller crises, like screwing up on stage or getting caught in a dating scandal. They could handle this zombie apocalypse just fine.

A light bulb went off in Byunghun’s head. Suddenly, he’d remembered some important detail Changhyun had casually dropped earlier. At the same time, he squashed the idea of Chanhee warding off a swarm of zombies with nothing but a shopping cart. He didn’t need to get his hopes up unnecessarily now. Not at this crucial moment.

“I have a plan,” he said with a renewed sense of purpose, and some bit of remorse. “But you’re not going to like it.”

Changhyun stared at him for a moment before shaking his head immediately. “Oh no,” he said, the gravity of this statement already beginning to dawn upon him. “Byunghun, you can’t!”

Byunghun looked away. “There’s no other way,” he said, voice so soft, it almost came out as a whisper. “Changhyun, I’m sorry.”

“No, I won’t let you!” He leapt to his feet, protesting. “You can’t sacrifice yourself to save me! I’m not that important!”

This gave Byunghun pause. “… What?”

Byunghun’s pause gave Changhyun pause too. “Wasn’t that what you meant? That you were going to sacrifice yourself so I could survive?”

“I’m not sacrificing myself for _you._ ” Byunghun frowned, torn between hitting his friend and bolting out the door to leave him behind.

Now it was Changhyun’s turn to blink at him. “What?” he said. Then, his face crumpled in a frightening display of sudden anger. “Well, why not?! Don’t you love me?”

“What are you talking about?” Byunghun demanded, now beginning to move towards him.

“Oh my god!” Changhyun screamed, now beginning to realize something terrible. He scrambled away from Byunghun instantly. “Are you going to sacrifice _me?_ ”

Now, Byunghun was angry too. “What is _wrong_ with you?” he said. “Nobody’s sacrificing anyone!”

“Well, what do you want to do, then?!”

Byunghun decided not to answer him, hoping that looking meaningfully towards the refrigerator would be enough of a reply. Changhyun followed his gaze, and once he’d finished putting the pieces together, he felt the anger beginning anew.

“Oh no.” He inched closer to Byunghun, the weight of this implication crashing suddenly upon him. “Oh no, you don’t.”

“Changhyun, there’s no other way.”

“You can’t give them my meat stash! I won’t let you!”

Byunghun nearly ripped the hair out of his head in hot frustration. “Will you get a hold of yourself? How else are we going to get out of here?”

“You’re not touching my meat stash!”

“It’s not like you’re going to eat it right now!”

Changhyun faltered, but only for a quick moment. “I’ll eat it later!”

“But we need to get out now!”

“I said you can’t!” Now, he bolted towards the refrigerator, forming a desperate border between it and his cruel, unforgiving band member. “Niel gave it to me!”

“Niel isn’t going to care now!”

The statement hit them like a ton of bricks, effectively stunning them into silence. Byunghun was immediately regretful of what he’d said, but harsh truths needed to be voiced out loud sometimes. If they wanted to get out of this mess alive, then they would do well to keep their heads on straight and be mindful of details like this.

As if in reply and agreement, one of the zombies moaned outside and scratched the front door lightly.

This seemed to snap Changhyun from his state of blankness. He threw a quick glance towards the front door, then slumped his shoulders in defeat. Even Byunghun couldn’t bring himself to celebrate at this small victory. If they got out of here and moved into a safe zone, then they could do all the celebrating they wanted.

Would they be even able to celebrate, after all that’s happened?

So many memories made with this group, but this had to happen to them anyway. All that synchronized footwork and incredible teamwork, and only two of them remained in the end.

It wasn’t fair.

But they couldn’t spend their time wallowing in this helplessness forever.

No matter. Byunghun would take care of this last member and make sure they would make it all the way home. He wouldn’t let one more of his close friends die while he was still here. Not after they had gone through so much together. He did not experience seeing his members turn into zombies for his infamous bad luck to strike now.

“Okay,” Changhyun said, slowly unpeeling himself from the door. “Go ahead. Do your worst.”

Byunghun looked at him in sympathy and clapped both hands on his shoulders. “I’m really sorry about this.”

“No, I understand.” Changhyun took in a breath. “It’s just…”

“You don’t have to say it anymore,” Byunghun said. “Niel gave this to you, of course I understand. But we have no other choice now. I promise I’ll find you all the meat you want at the safe zone.”

Changhyun nodded, but he did so with a heavy heart. “But,” he said. “But… that meat Niel gave me.” He looked up at Byunghun, giving him the pout that used to make older women quiver on the spot. “That was the really expensive kind.”

Suddenly, Byunghun didn’t feel so sorry anymore. “Forget it.” He growled, but knocked the top of Changhyun’s head gently, like he’d seen Minsoo do sometimes. “Can’t you take anything seriously?”

Changhyun grinned at him cheekily. “Not when you’re here,” he said. “I’m your helpful sidekick, remember?”

Byunghun returned the grin. “You got that right.” He scoffed. “Take your meat out, we’re going to give it to those guys. Knowing them, they’ll go for it right away. And when they do, we can run out and look for Chanhee.”

“Okay!” Changhyun gave him a mock salute and threw the fridge door open to take his prized meat out.

Meat and weapons in hand, the two positioned themselves by the front door, steeling themselves for what was about to come.

“Relax,” Changhyun said and slapped Byunghun’s back for emphasis. “It’s just the others. We can take them.”

Byunghun grunted. “Nobody’s taking anybody. After we give them your meat, we’re gone.”

“Stop saying it like that, you’re making it sound gross!”

“How is that my fault?”

“Are you sure they’re even going to go for this?”

“Hey, it’s still them, right?” Byunghun said. “If they’re still somewhere inside there even after what happened, then they’ll go for it. I’m sure.”

Changhyun gave a shaky laugh. “You’re right,” he said. “They never could say no to Niel’s meat anyway.”

“Now who’s making it sound gross?”

“Shut up! Ah, seriously. Even at a time like this.”

“You started it.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to finish it.”

“We’re going to end this together,” Byunghun said, nodding his head for finality. “You and me, Changhyun. And Chanhee, when we find him.”

Changhyun made a face. “Ugh,” he said. “Now I know why Minsoo never did any of those speeches. You’re bad at it, by the way.”

“Shut up, brat.”

“That’s Chanhee’s line!”

“He can have it back when we find him.”

They looked at each other for a moment before dissolving into laughter. Byunghun realized then that maybe it wasn’t completely useless to believe that Chanhee might still be alive. If there was anything reliable to hold onto, at least, it was that they would all still be fighting with each other at the end of the world, zombies or no.

“Okay, shut up and get ready. We have a Chanhee to find.”

“As long as you’re going to stop calling this my meat again, we’re good.”

Byunghun reached out and gripped the doorknob. He took one more look at Changhyun beside him, in case anything happened to either of them. Changhyun looked back at him with a similar sort of expression, as if he too, wanted to memorize every detail of his last living friend before the inevitable.

Byunghun opened the door.

Changhyun set himself beside him.

Then, they ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally written and published on Tumblr in 2016, in the height of the Train to Busan hype. Happy ten years, boys.


	2. Teen Top is Here! (Angel Comes AU)

“I don’t understand,” C.A.P. said, a morose frown taking over his features. L. Joe was looking at him, amazed that he still hadn’t stopped sketching the whole time. “I just want to draw. So why is the school nurse mad at me? I really don’t understand. It’s not like I meant to send all those girls to the clinic…”

L. Joe gave this some thought, pondering the matter long and hard. What was he going to tell him? It was weird when you had to give advice to someone older than you. And another thing to consider was that he’d only ever gotten through his problems by reading. Would books help C.A.P.? Did C.A.P. even like to read?

Perhaps Salinger’s _Catcher in the Rye_ would help… but C.A.P. was so much older than the lead character, that he may not be able to relate. And besides, L. Joe didn’t remember Holden Caulfield hospitalizing anyone when he smiled. Holden wasn’t even much of a smiler in the first place…

How about _The Great Gatsby,_ then? He’d learned many life lessons from that book, although he wasn’t sure how this was going to help C.A.P. in his beef with the school nurse.

Maybe he should just tell C.A.P. to read _One Piece_ instead – it had many lessons too, even if it was more a comic book than actual literature. But L. Joe wasn’t picky with his reading materials. As long as they were entertaining or informative, then they were fair game.

He began to bury his nose further into his book, ashamed that he couldn’t help C.A.P. sort out his problem. But he immediately backed away once he remembered what he’d done to the library’s only copy of _The Lord of the Flies._ Not that the librarian had minded – the library, after all, had become L. Joe’s sanctuary as much as hers, that as far as she was concerned, he could do whatever he wanted with the books.

Of course, it didn’t hurt either to flash her one of his charming smiles to settle the matter. His body features taketh, his body features giveth away. Sometimes, you just had to know which ones to use for the taketh and the giveth.

But back to C.A.P. He’d stopped talking and gone back to focusing on his drawing instead. Normally, this would have put L. Joe at ease, but after his uncharacteristic rant from earlier, C.A.P.’s silence had become more than a little unsettling. Had L. Joe offended him somehow by not offering any comment when he was supposed to? He desperately hoped that wasn’t the case. In a school like this, where everyone had an opinion about everyone else, a quiet friend was something to treasure. If C.A.P. stopped hanging out with him now, L. Joe didn’t know how he would cope with things until graduation.

If only there was something in his books that would help them out – !

He felt a gentle poke on his arm, cutting him mid-thought. L. Joe looked to his side and found C.A.P. grinning at him like the ranting had never happened.

C.A.P. pushed a piece of paper towards him, clearing his throat nervously.

L. Joe blinked at him. This was strange behavior, even for the withdrawn artist. He was never nervous, and especially not in front of the other guys.

C.A.P. continued to smile. “A thank you gift,” he explained. “For always listening. You never have any advice for me, but that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s better to just listen, you know?”

L. Joe did not know. But he looked down at the paper and marveled at the sketch that had been presented to him. It really was beautiful, although L. Joe had some trouble figuring out what it was supposed to be. Probably some weird artist thing he would never be able to understand. But that was okay. If it was from C.A.P., then it was worth more than any other drawing he’d ever see in his lifetime.

He looked back up at C.A.P., about to ask him what the drawing was, but stopped cold when he found C.A.P. still smiling at him. He was obviously enjoying L. Joe’s reaction to his drawing, but L. Joe couldn’t even bring himself to make fun of him for it.

He felt his nose tingling and had to get up to excuse himself, afraid of upsetting C.A.P. with what he was sure was a sudden nosebleed. “I have to go,” he said.

C.A.P. smiled at him again and even gave him a little wave to see him off. L. Joe nearly fainted on the spot. Guess there really was some truth to that weird trend of hospitalizing people with just a smile.

* * *

L. Joe didn’t always appreciate Chunji’s visits to the library. Unlike C.A.P., who only escaped there to finish his drawings in peace, Chunji seemed to think that the library was also some sort of guidance counselor’s office, which meant that poor L. Joe was stuck with playing the role of the guidance counselor.

Chunji never seemed to stop talking – a huge problem, as all L. Joe wanted to do was read in relative silence. Come to think of it, it really was uncharacteristically quiet at the library today. Usually, it was jam-packed with other students waiting to experience the joys of reading along with him. But because Chunji was also inside, it seemed that L. Joe’s usual companions had settled by hanging outside the windows, giggling at the sight of two immaculate-looking boys in the same room together.

At least, that was what L. Joe was able to surmise from the gaggle of female students gathered outside. He sighed, unsurprised to hear that Chunji hadn’t noticed that he’d tuned out of his rant entirely. L. Joe looked up from his book to listen to what Chunji was talking about this time. Dosteovsky could wait. At this rate, he’d never be able to get any reading done when this guy was still talking.

“He hasn’t joined the choir yet, of course,” Chunji was saying. “But he _will._ And when he does, I’ll be ready for him. Think he can just take over like that, because he can sing too? Huh! I don’t think so!”

So it was about the transfer student. L. Joe remembered C.A.P. bringing him over to the library when he was still showing him around the campus.

“Is this about Niel?” he finally asked.

Chunji blinked at him, as if surprised that L. Joe had decided to make this a conversation. “Well, yeah,” he said. “Who else would I be talking about?”

L. Joe shrugged. “He isn’t so bad.”

“That’s what he wants everyone to think. But don’t fall for it, L. Joe. It’s part of his agenda.”

“ _What_ agenda?”

Chunji raised his fists. “His agenda to take over my spot as the best singer here, of course!” He sat back down across L. Joe. “It was weird when everyone moved out of the choir when I joined. But I realized that it was just the natural order of things. I’m too good, you see, that’s why there’s no one else who can rival me here in terms of natural singing talent.” He ignored L. Joe’s scoff and went on. “And now that Niel’s here, he thinks he can just waltz around and make singing his talent too. Who does he think he is? I was here first!”

L. Joe rolled his eyes. “He sings for a band. You sing for a choir. Two different genres. You’re safe, Chunji.” He scratched his head. “It doesn’t even make sense how you can sing for an entire choir. Do you do all the voices?”

“Shut up, what do you know about singing?”

“Fine, see if I let you back in this library again.”

Chunji paled. “Okay, so I was kidding.” He tried to give him his best smile. “You know me, L. Joe. We’re friends, right? You know I love you.”

L. Joe made a face. “I really wish you didn’t have to say it like that.”

“Why not?” Chunji winked, then threw a glance out the windows, waving at everyone gathered outside. A unified sound of mass swooning followed Chunji’s fanservice and L. Joe tried to bury his face back in his book.

“Wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” Chunji said, still keeping his award-winning smoldering look trained on the windows. “Remember what happened to your Fly book?”

L. Joe scowled at him, but slammed his book shut, hoping that Chunji hadn’t seen the rip he’d caused again in one of the pages.

* * *

“Alright, Niel,” Chunji declared. “It’s time for us to put this feud to a close.”

“Okay.” Niel shrugged and scratched his ear idly. Beside him, L. Joe held back a groan. _Why_ did all his friends insist on hashing things out at the library? It was fine if they’d just wanted to rant to him about things. But to outright settle things in such a sacred place was tantamount to sacrilege for L. Joe. People came to a library to _read._ Nobody came here to hash out personal differences.

But it seemed Chunji wasn’t most people, which, in retrospect, should have been something L. Joe should have been aware of before.

“They call you Flower Boy Niel, don’t they?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But your band’s named Fire Dragon.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What kind of a band is that?” Chunji screeched. “Is it a rock band? Please tell me it’s a rock band.”

“Uh… no. Fire Dragon’s a strictly ballad band. I sing ballads only. You could call it my specialty.” Niel smiled.

Now, even L. Joe was curious. “What’s with that name?” He had read too many books about dragons in his lifetime, and of all the images they inspired in him, a sweet, sentimental singer like Niel certainly wasn’t one of them. As far as he knew, an emotional ballad really was the last thing anyone had used to describe such monstrous beasts. “Do you even know what a dragon is?”

“Yeah.” Chunji squinted at Niel. “What _is_ up with that name?”

Niel shrugged again. “I like dragons,” he said. “Dragons are cool.”

“Oh, okay.” L. Joe nodded his head, already accepting this explanation.

“What’s wrong with you?” Chunji hissed. “Don’t you find this weird?”

“It’s his band. He can call it whatever he likes.”

“Yeah,” Niel said. “I don’t know why you’re so mad at this anyway. I’m a pop singer. You’re a choir boy. Two different genres, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

L. Joe looked at Chunji triumphantly.

But Chunji was having none of this. “Shut up, you. The only thing that matters here is that you’re a singer too. There can only be one singer in this school and that’s me. I don’t care what genre you’re in.”

“Well, okay,” Niel said. “So don’t go to my concerts, then. You don’t see me going to your competitions.”

“It doesn’t work like that!”

“What, you want us to have a sing-off or something?”

L. Joe slammed the table. “No.” He glared at them both. “No singing. Not in this library.”

The two singers stared at him for a moment, surprised that L. Joe was still in the room with them.

“What’s your favorite flower!” Niel suddenly yelled.

“Me!” Chunji yelled back, offended that he even had to ask.

“That’s my favorite flower too!”

“Really?”

“Not you – me! I’m my own favorite flower! They don’t call me Flower Boy Niel for nothing.” Niel smirked at him. “Maybe I should write a song about you instead. Your face would make good inspiration for a break-up song.”

“What was that, you brat?!”

L. Joe groaned and slunk back down in his chair. Everywhere Chunji went, a fight was sure to follow. He should have been used to it by now, but he always did believe in man’s capacity to change for the better. He’d learned that from a book as well.

“Hey!” he shouted at them, his panic making him forget they were in a library. “Those encyclopedias are not for – _Chunji! Niel!_ ”

* * *

“All the teachers said you’re perfect.”

Changjo groaned. “Not that again,” he whined. “I’m not _perfect_ , I’m just naturally curious about the way the world works, that’s all.”

Niel shrugged. “Yeah. Perfect.”

“No, no, no.” Changjo wagged a finger at him. “I just happen to read a lot. But it so happens that everything I read makes its way to the curriculum, so it gets discussed in class. So when the teachers talk about that stuff, I already know all about it.”

“Oh,” Niel said, nodding in understanding. “I get it now. You’re not perfect, you’re just a nerd. Like L. Joe here. Sirs Read-a-lot.”

Changjo laughed at the joke, but L. Joe snorted down at his book. “What’s wrong with that?” he demanded.

“Nothing.” Niel grinned. Then, he turned back to Changjo. “Is there anything you aren’t perfect in?”

“Oh no,” L. Joe said, groaning loudly. “Please don’t ask him that. Please don’t.”

Changjo waved him aside and shook his head forlornly at Niel. “One thing I’m not perfect in?” he said. “Finding love. Every day, I wake up, thinking that this’ll be the day I finally find it… you know? But it never happens. It’s hopeless, I’m never going to find true love like this.”

“That sounds like something Chunji would say.”

“He _did_ say it,” L. Joe said. “Changjo’s just repeating it back at you to piss me off.”

“It’s true, though!” Changjo said. “I really am looking for love. So if any of you get lucky and get it before I do, I’m really going to hit you.”

But Niel was shaking his head. “Not for me,” he said. “Right now, I’m more concerned about my songwriting. I want to be a great singer one day.”

“Give me a break,” L. Joe said and shut his book, so he could properly glare at both of them. “Changjo, the whole _school_ follows you around everyday. What’s so hard about finding love from that?”

“What, you mean them?” Changjo pointed out the windows. As if on cue, the gathered fangirls immediately swooned and waved hopefully at him. He grinned and waved back, flashing the occasional hearts once in a while. “They’re my friends.”

“ _All_ of them?” Niel gaped at him, unable to believe it.

“Sure. I love them all like I love my friends.”

“You don’t give hearts to your friends.”

“Oh, you wanted one? Here.”

“Wow! Thanks, Changjo, you’re the best!”

The fangirls outside made hoots of approval at this gratuitous show of bromance between the two. However, L. Joe was having none of this at all.

“Changjo,” he said, “they give you letters with hearts in them.”

“So what if they like hearts?” he retorted. “It’s aesthetic, you know, aesthetic. You don’t make fun of C.A.P. for drawing angel wings all the time.”

L. Joe shook his head. “That’s different. What about the love letters and the confessions? You’ve never answered any one of them.”

Changjo shook his head harder. “I’m talking about true love here. Those are just fan stuff. I’m after the real thing.”

“How real can you get?” Niel said. “They give you the letters, they tell you they love you… what else do you want?”

“I don’t know yet,” Changjo said, “but I’ll know it when I see it.” He immediately affected the pose of a meditative poet by making a small fist and putting it on his chest. He ducked his head, closed his eyes, and made a contemplative sort of face. The fangirls waiting outside fell for this immediately.

L. Joe rolled his eyes and opened his book again. “Waste of time,” he said to Niel. “That kid, he spends too much time with the others.”

“It can’t hurt to say hi to them, though.” Niel waved to the gathered crowds outside and began throwing hearts to their appreciative audience.

L. Joe sighed again, but joined in anyway. They’d all gathered outside for a reason, he thought. It’d be a waste to let them go without giving them what they wanted.

* * *

When Ricky showed up at the library with a thick handful of flyers, L. Joe immediately knew that this wasn’t something he wanted to get involved in. But Ricky had a “never say die, never back down” attitude, that it was always difficult to get away from him once he’d set his mind on something.

In this case, it was the campaign for the student council elections.

You needed a bunch of things to be able to run for the student council: smarts, some special status, if you didn’t have it, like a varsity membership or a unique talent, and an uncompromising disposition if you didn’t have any of those. Although Ricky was already smart enough to run for any position - proven by his recent wins in a mathematics contest and spelling bee - he had tons of that uncompromising disposition. This, he felt, was going to be his number one selling point to the student body.

Simply put, the little runt just didn’t know when to give up.

“Listen, if you guys will join me, we’ll be unbeatable,” he said. “Just think. Changjo, you’re Mr. Perfect. And L. Joe, you’re the reason why everyone’s become addicted to studying. Our school’s gotten a lot of acclaim because of you two!”

Changjo pretended to give this some serious thought. “No.”

“Come on!” Ricky wailed. “Why not?”

“It’s not for me.”

“Sure it is! You can take my spot as Treasurer on the student council. If I win and become the President, I’ll even allow you to skip meetings if you want.”

“Nope, I’m fine studying in the library like this. Less hassle this way.”

Ricky pouted, attempting to use his visuals to convince Changjo one more time. But when his face got shoved away by Changjo’s huge hand, Ricky decided to give it up as a lost cause. The disappointment showed on his face - he’d bet everything on Changjo, after all.

He turned to L. Joe. “What about you? You want in?”

“You don’t have to make it sound like I’m your last resort.” He scowled, oddly offended.

“You’re not!”

L. Joe wasn’t convinced.

“Okay, well… you kind of are,” Ricky said, finally giving in. “But that’s only because you guys are the only people I know who take academics as seriously as I do.”

“Come on, Ricky. It’s not the others’ faults they’re more artistic than book-smart.”

“I know! But I just want someone to run with me for the student council, that’s all.” He looked down at his shoes, suddenly unsure. “President of the student council’s no joke, you know? I might really lose this time. And then, what will I do?”

Changjo clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Ricky,” he said. “Ricky, my good friend. Are you kidding? You don’t need any of us to run with you.”

“Huh?”

“Stand up for yourself! Be a man!” Changjo pounded his chest. “You can do this on your own, I believe you! You have the talent to go far!” He nudged L. Joe roughly and nearly knocked him to the floor.

L. Joe glared at him and shrugged at Ricky. “Yeah, sure. What he said.”

“You don’t have to make it sound like that was your last resort.”

“Shut up,” L. Joe said and smacked the back of Ricky’s head. “I’m older than you.”

“And I outrank you,” Ricky said. “Which is why you should join me in the student council. You can hit me all you want if you join.”

“Is this what you say to everyone else?” Changjo said, bursting into laughter.

It took a while for Ricky to realize what he’d said and once he did, he gasped and brought his hands to his mouth. Outside, the gathered fangirls made swooning noises again. “Ah!” Ricky said. “Forget what I said! I changed my mind, you don’t have to do any of that!”

L. Joe smirked at him. “Too late,” he said. “I’m already beginning to consider your offer.”

“Really?”

“No.”

* * *

“Ugh, so this is where he’s been all this time?” Ricky said. “Why do you harbor such miscreants in your library?”

“Miscreant?” L. Joe said. “He just came here to draw.” He looked over at C.A.P.’s sleeping form and reconsidered his statement. “Well, he was, before you got here. It’s not illegal, though. He only draws here, because he can’t give anyone nosebleeds when he’s in the library.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” L. Joe sighed. “What do you need him for anyway?”

Ricky crossed his arms and pouted down at C.A.P. “He’s late for his math remedial,” he said. “I excused myself so I could go find him.”

“Such an outstanding citizen, our student council President.”

“Shut up. He needs the remedial, in any case. He can’t keep drawing weird things when he’s only supposed to draw graphs. Really! How can anyone tutor him when he’s being so difficult?”

“ _You_ tutor him?” L. Joe looked at him in disbelief. “But he’s so much older than you!”

“Changjo’s way smarter than you are, but he’s younger,” Ricky retorted. “Why are you so obsessed with our age gaps? Seriously.”

L. Joe muttered something under his breath.

Ricky rolled his eyes. “What this guy needs,” he told L. Joe, “is discipline. And as student council President, it’s up to me to set him straight.”

L. Joe scoffed. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Hey, you voted for me, didn’t you? How could you talk to an elected official like that?”

“I didn’t vote for you,” L. Joe said. “None of the other guys did.”

“Ah!” Ricky yelled and pointed an accusatory finger at him. “So you were the five votes who abstained? I thought we were friends?!”

“Relax. You won already, didn’t you? Quit whining.”

“Seriously.” He crossed his arms. “Some friends you are.”

As if affirming this statement, C.A.P. snored loudly and rolled his head to the side.

Ricky put his hands on his hips, looking down at him and thinking hard. Then, he snapped his fingers and dug around in his bag, before bringing out an expensive-looking alarm clock. It was nearly as big as his hand and L. Joe had to put his book down, curious now at what he was planning to do.

“Where’d you get that?”

“I found it at home. Nobody owns it, so I made a few modifications and made it better. I figured it’d do more good here at school. I always wake up on time, anyway.”

“As expected from our student council President.”

“Will you quit rubbing it in?” Ricky huffed. He set the alarm clock next to C.A.P.’s sleeping face and fiddled with a few buttons at the back. “Watch,” he told L. Joe.

A loud, grating alarm blasted from the clock, but because C.A.P. was the longtime and undisputed champion of sleep, he’d become immune to alarm clocks and other loud, startling sounds. L. Joe thought Ricky already knew about this and was about to tell him so, but the alarm clock began to make another sort of noise, giving L. Joe pause.

It was playing a pop song.

And to make it even better - or worse, L. Joe wasn’t sure - _Ricky_ was singing the pop song.

It was Ricky’s voice coming out of the alarm clock and L. Joe didn’t know what kind of appropriate reaction he should be making to address this madness.

But it seemed his silence was more than enough for Ricky. He grinned proudly at L. Joe. “Cool, huh?” he said. “I call it a Ricky Alarm. Since students haven’t been punctual recently, I thought of installing this in the school systems. It’s my first real project as student council President.”

L. Joe was still speechless. It wasn’t that he admired the stupid thing - quite the opposite, actually. “Ricky,” he said, “this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Wait ‘till you get to the end.”

L. Joe wished he hadn’t.

 _“Wake up, wake up now! Rise and shine, it’s a beautiful day!”_ said Alarm Clock Ricky. The excessive brightness and optimism in his tone made L. Joe cringe. _“And you know something else? You’re beautiful too~”_

But it seemed to be having the desired effect on its target.

C.A.P. stirred once, then twice. He’d even managed to blink his eyes open, already groggy and irritated. He raised his head from the table and looked around him slowly, trying to locate the source of the horrible noise that had made the terrible mistake of waking him up. Finally, his angry eyes settled on the Ricky Alarm Clock in front of him. He raised a fist to smash it into silence.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Ricky cried and swept the clock off the table. “This is a prototype, you can’t touch it! And you’re late for your math remedial.”

C.A.P. snorted, seeing that it was only Ricky, then put his head back on the table to sleep. “Wake me up again when it’s time to go home,” he muttered.

Ricky pouted, highly offended by such rudeness, then slammed the Ricky Alarm Clock back in front of his face. He winded it up again, looking on smugly when C.A.P. groaned loudly and tried to cover his ears.

L. Joe watched this all unfold before him in amazement. He never thought it was possible for Ricky to be more annoying than he already was, but the day was quickly beginning to prove him wrong.

“The Ricky Alarm,” Ricky said with a happy smile. “This one’s going to be a hit.”

Finally, C.A.P. emerged into the waking world, if a bit noisily and with a thousand rude things to say about Ricky and his future family members. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, fine, I give. I’m going with you to that stupid math class if you’ll shut that thing up.”

Ricky nodded his approval, shut off the alarm, and put it back in his bag. He gave L. Joe a thumbs-up. “Thanks!” he said. “Just wait 'til my baby becomes a superstar.”

L. Joe did not want to wait.

But he cracked a smile when he saw C.A.P. claim proper retribution for his rude awakening by smacking Ricky rather roughly on the head. Ricky squawked angrily and tried to get back at him for it, but C.A.P. beat him to it by slapping his behind.

Outside, their dutiful fangirls swooned again.

L. Joe gave them all a warm, sincere smile, then finally settled back down to read his book.

Things would get more hectic at the library after this - like an impromptu sing-off between Chunji and Niel, and an almanac weight-lifting contest between C.A.P. and Changjo - but for now, things had gone back to their original peace and quiet. And most importantly, L. Joe could read again.

It was the only thing that really mattered for him, in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one written in 2016, from the Tumblr account I don’t update anymore, based on the intro video Teen Top made for their ‘Angel Comes’ fanmeet. It sounded like a fanfic. So I made a fanfic. Watch it in its full cringy glory [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UpE3zE1GlQ).


	3. The Birds, the Bees, and Everything in Between (Angel Comes AU)

As part of Ricky’s initiative as the new Student Council President, he’d deemed it necessary to conduct a series of sex ed lessons for the boys in his school.

Sex ed, he’d decided, was very important, especially since there were so many female students at the school. And because they got taught all the lessons, the boys were usually left to their own devices during school hours.

There weren’t very many boys at Angel High. In fact, there were just six of them all in all enrolled at the school, and it was a number that already included Ricky. It wasn’t that the school name discouraged any other boys from attending. But because one male Angel High student could already send a whole group of female students to the clinic with a smile, school officials had decided that having just six of them was more than anyone would ever need. For the safety of the rest of the girls at the school, it was decided that Angel High would not be taking in any more boys. And so, that left just Ricky and the five other boys who had been forced to become friends with each other if they did not want to fight off an entire mob of starstruck girls by themselves. 

Life was hard for the six of them. But other boys outside the school didn’t see this as a problem. In fact, there were many other boys who wanted to attend Angel High. But that was really only because all those other boys wanted to have girlfriends.

What if Ricky’s classmates also wanted to have girlfriends? They were Angel High students, sure, but they were all still boys at the end of it all. Really, the only thing separating Ricky’s classmates and the rest of the male population outside was their school uniform. Maybe deep down inside, they were really just girlfriend-hungry monsters, just like everyone else. They were only more dangerous, because they were right in the thick of the action, able to pounce on their poor female classmates who wouldn’t know any better.

It was precisely this way of thinking that gave Ricky enough reason to hold a special sex ed class for the only other boys at Angel High, so that they may be able to see the light. They needed to be educated, the poor Neanderthals that they were, and Ricky assigned himself the thankless task of getting their hormones in line.

But as it was, none of the others seemed very interested, making loud boos and snickering loudly whenever Ricky even so much as breathed. 

“Listen to me!” Ricky said. “This is serious. We could all be predators! Waiting to hound and prey on our poor, innocent classmates…”

He trailed off and opened his eyes to take in the sight of his captive audience.

Niel was kicking L. Joe’s seat.

L. Joe was valiantly trying to kick him back.

Changjo was obviously trying to pull his “sleeping with his eyes wide open” trick… again.

C.A.P. wasn’t even facing the board.

“Hey!”

Chunji sighed at him. “Drop the cue cards, Ricky.” He snorted and leaned into his chair, arms crossed smugly across his chest. “Predators, us? Come on, give me a break.”

“Yeah, if anything, it’s _me_ who’s getting predatorized!” Changjo said, snapping out of his bored funk.

“Hey, is that even a word?” Niel called from his seat.

Seeing that Niel was distracted, L. Joe immediately seized his chance. He whirled around so fast to properly kick Niel’s shins in retaliation. Niel fell to the floor and promptly tried to grab L. Joe’s chair to upend it, but ran into some difficulty, due to L. Joe’s angry foot stomps.

The class was slowly devolving into chaos.

Ricky picked up a piece of chalk and hurled it towards C.A.P.’s head, so as to restore the peace.

“Will you take this seriously?” he yelled. “This isn’t a joke!”

Chunji leaned back into his chair and clapped his hands, laughing immediately when he saw the chalk slam right into his seatmate’s head. C.A.P. picked the chalk up from the table, frowned down at it, then threw it at Chunji. Chunji dodged it and watched the chalk zoom towards Niel.

But instead of giving the two the reaction they wanted, Niel swallowed the cry of pain that almost leapt from his throat, then threw the chalk back towards the blackboard. “I volunteer C.A.P. to be the first presenter.”

“That’s not how volunteering works,” L. Joe said.

“Sure it does,” Niel said.

“Wait, what presenting?” C.A.P. said. “I didn’t know we were going to do any presenting.” He turned to Chunji. “Did you?”

He shrugged. “Who cares?” he said. “As long as it gets this class done faster.”

Ricky moaned and put his face in his hands.

In front of him, Changjo made a sympathetic sort of noise. “Look on the bright side,” he consoled his friend. “If we finish this class faster, then we’ll have more time to buy ice cream.”

This brightened Ricky up quickly, although his hopeful smile dropped into a disappointed frown when everyone else in the class began to volunteer themselves to come along on their ice cream date.

“Shut up, all of you,” he said. “C.A.P., you’re first.”

* * *

C.A.P. hadn’t been able to prepare anything at all, but he trotted to the front of the class anyway, clearly excited by today’s lesson. “For today’s show and tell,” he announced, “I brought something that’s special and deeply personal to me.”

He whipped out his phone and thumbed through it, browsing through his photos.

“Don’t tell me he’s doing what I think he’s doing,” Ricky said. Everybody else was too bored to give him an answer.

C.A.P. continued to look through his phone as diligently as he could, until his face lit up in relieved joy when he finally found what he wanted. With excitement and glee clearly written across his face, he turned his phone around to show everybody a picture of a naked woman.

Only Chunji and L. Joe were staring at him in slight disappointment.

“At least he didn’t bring his magazines,” Chunji said.

“Or his videos,” L. Joe agreed.

“Compared to those, this one’s nothing.”

“At least it’s just _one_ girl this time.”

C.A.P.’s proud expression fell into a whiny pout.

Meanwhile, Ricky was struggling to find the funny part of this presentation. “What kind of lesson is that?” he demanded.

C.A.P. shrugged. “I’m trying to show that sex can be fun.” But when he saw that nobody else seemed to share his joy, he looked at them all, confused. “I have pictures of guys here too, if that’s what you want,” he said, hazarding a guess.

Ricky stood up immediately. “No!” he said. “No more naked pictures! That’s not the point of the exercise!”

“You hypocrite.” C.A.P. grumbled, but he trudged back to his seat anyway. He stuck his tongue out at a sneering Chunji beside him.

In the seat in front of him, Changjo had his face firmly planted down on his desk. “Is it okay to look now?” he said.

“No, stay like that forever,” Niel answered.

C.A.P. kicked Changjo’s chair. “Don’t go to me if you guys want to see these pictures next time,” he told everybody. “Because I’ll remember this. I won’t give you any.”

“Give us any what?” Niel asked, just to be annoying.

“Nobody asked you,” Chunji said, sticking his tongue out at C.A.P.

C.A.P. slumped and sulked. “I was just saying,” he said. But no one was listening to him anymore.

* * *

L. Joe’s presentation took a while to finish, so that when it did, only Ricky was staring back at him, completely riveted by the demonstration.

“And that,” L. Joe said, “is how you slip the condom on.” He put away his educational materials and tossed the banana to Changjo, like he’d promised.

Ricky was still clapping when L. Joe sat back down on his chair. 

“Good lesson,” Changjo said, but L. Joe knew he only said that because of the free banana.

L. Joe looked at them all, fully convinced that his lecture had done them a world of good.

“Boring.” C.A.P. yawned from the back. “Can we go home now?”

“You have a math remedial,” Ricky answered automatically.

“But I’m sleepy.”

Now, L. Joe was offended. The nerve of this guy to look down on his presentation when his wasn’t even that good in the first place! “You’re just sore we didn’t like your stupid picture.”

But his irritation flew right over C.A.P.’s head. “I have some videos here if you want.”

“No videos!” Ricky said automatically.

“Fine.” L. Joe huffed. “Be that way. See if I ever help you out when you get someone pregnant.”

This immediately struck Chunji as the funniest, most outrageous thing he’d ever heard. He honored the absurdity of this statement with a loud belly laugh. “This guy can’t get anyone pregnant,” he said. “I’d like to see him try.”

C.A.P. frowned at him. “I can do that,” he said. “But it has to be the right mood.”

“You’d make a lousy father,” Niel butted in, livening up immediately when he saw that it was time to pick on C.A.P. again.

“Yeah, who’d want to have _your_ babies?” Changjo said.

“Shut up, my babies will be awesome.”

“Will they be born with tattoos, too?” Niel asked.

“Sure, why not?”

“Will they have your tiny eyes, too?” Changjo asked.

“I guess.”

“Will they inherit your incredible stupidity?” Chunji asked, finally bringing the trio’s joke to a flourishing finish. He stuck his tongue out when C.A.P. began pouting at him.

“Rude,” L. Joe said, making a sound of disappointment from his seat.

“Shut up, banana man,” Niel said and began to kick the back of his chair again.

Changjo threw his banana peel at Niel. “It was a good banana,” he argued.

Ricky sighed and picked up the banana peel, like the responsible Student Council President he was. “Someone’s going to slip on this and break their necks,” he said.

“I could slip it on _my_ banana, easy.”

“Gross, Changjo!”

“What’s the matter, you think L. Joe’s the only one with bananas at home?!”

“I want to see C.A.P. slip on it and break his neck.”

C.A.P. casually leaned over to tip Chunji’s seat to the side, taking obvious delight in the shrieks that started to come out of his seatmate’s mouth when he fell to the floor.

* * *

“For my presentation,” Niel said, “I’d like to lead everyone in a little sing-song. It’s an original composition of mine called: _Where Does the Pollen_ –”

“Why is it that everything that comes out of your mouth has to be about a flower?” 

“Shut up, choir boy.” Niel attempted to throw his printed song guide at Chunji, only to watch it flop uselessly just in front of Ricky. 

“Boring.” C.A.P. yawned again. “Is it time to go home yet?” He chucked a rolled-up ball of paper towards Ricky before he could remind him about his math remedial.

“You guys don’t know how to appreciate art.” Niel sniffed.

“I appreciate you,” Changjo crooned.

Everyone else in the room booed and hissed at him loudly, grumbling at him to shut up.

“At least my presentation’s better than those other two,” Niel said. “Mine had audience participation. You guys just blah-blah-blah’d and showed some stupid pictures.”

“But I hate singing.”

Chunji swiped Niel’s pen off his desk and threw it at C.A.P.

* * *

“Chunji, your turn.”

“Pass. I didn’t prepare anything today.”

“What?” Ricky turned around in his seat, furious. “What do you mean?”

“I stayed up all night last night practicing for my upcoming school play.” He put his chin in his hands and fluttered his eyelashes playfully. “You’re gonna let this one go, right?”

But when Ricky failed to give him the appropriate reaction, Chunji straightened back in his seat, suddenly remembering that his only other companions in the room were boys. His charms would have no effect on them.

“I believe him,” C.A.P. said, raising a hand.

“Shut up,” said everyone else.

* * *

It was Changjo’s turn up front.

He looked at the others for a few awkward minutes before digging a hand into his pocket. He drew out an egg, examined it thoroughly to check for cracks, then carefully set it down on the table.

“Look, if this is about your egg experiment again, it’s not going to work,” L. Joe said, wanting to break the news in as gentle a manner as possible.

“Seriously, nobody cares about your stupid egg,” Chunji said, ignoring L. Joe’s hard stares.

Changjo gasped, immediately offended on behalf of his poor egg.

“Wait a minute,” Niel said. “What’s this egg experiment?”

“He’s been trying to get us to do it for ages,” Chunji explained. “We all pair up, take care of an egg like a baby, then compare results at the end of a month. The pair with the worst egg gets the worst score. It’s stupid, really.”

“Not really,” C.A.P. said, jumping in to protect the sanctity and honor of the humble egg. “If you can eat it after, then it can’t be stupid.”

Chunji stared at him. “Seriously,” he said, “do you even _hear_ yourself talk sometimes?”

“Sorry, Changjo,” Ricky said. “Maybe next time.”

Changjo looked down dejectedly for a moment while he was retreating back to his seat. He gave the egg cradled in his hand a long, considering look, before popping the whole thing into his mouth.

* * *

“I hope we’ve all learned something new from this,” Ricky said, right in time with the school bell’s signal to end the class. “Even if all your presentations _sucked,_ by the way.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Niel said, immediately raising a hand. “Where’s _your_ presentation?”

Ricky huffed. “Unlike the rest of you morons, I don’t need to educate myself on the dangers of sex.”

“I don’t think I want to get lectured by Ricky about sex anyway,” Changjo said.

But C.A.P. was shaking his head. “See, that’s exactly where the problem starts,” he said. “You see sex as a problem. But it’s not.”

“He’s right,” Chunji agreed.

L. Joe gave him a look. “How would any of you know?” he said. “Have either of you had sex?”

Niel and Changjo nearly fell out of their seats laughing.

C.A.P. crossed his arms, defiant. “If you’d just see the value of my pictures and videos, then we wouldn’t be talking about this. I use those in the meantime for when I can’t have sex yet.”

“God, that’s gross,” Chunji said, still trying to process the word “sex” coming out of C.A.P.’s mouth.

“Anyway, the point _is,_ ” Ricky said, struggling to be heard above the chaos, “the point is, we’ve hopefully learned something important today.”

“Oh, for sure,” Niel said. “Today, I learned to never put Ricky in charge of anything. Even if I did vote him to be student council president.”

Ricky gasped, scandalized. “That’s not true and you know it!” he cried, pointing a finger. “L. Joe said you didn’t vote for me! None of you did! Some friends you are.”

Changjo gasped too, just as scandalized as Ricky. “You said you wouldn’t tell him!” he accused, pointing a finger at L. Joe.

“My mother didn’t raise me to be a liar,” was all L. Joe said.

“Yeah, but she raised you to be a prude,” Chunji rebutted.

“Hey, that’s not fair.” C.A.P. frowned, eager to protect the dignity of everyone’s mothers.

“It was kind of obvious anyway,” Niel said, shrugging his shoulders. “There were only, like, five abstain votes at the tally. Who else was it going to be?”

“And besides, you won already, didn’t you?” Chunji said. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is, I got this position fair and square, and it’s up to me to set all of you perverts straight in any way I see fit!” Ricky asserted, now stomping the floor with his feet.

Changjo scoffed. “Wait ‘till you get a load of _my_ big deal.”

He’d been referring to his biceps, but C.A.P. spat out a mouthful of water, obviously thinking of something else.

“God, you’re gross,” Chunji said, chucking his eraser towards C.A.P. “Why are we even friends?”

“What’s the matter, don’t think you’re big enough?” Niel said, laughing harder when L. Joe turned to fix him with a glare.

It wouldn’t be Ricky’s first time to realize he would be going absolutely nowhere with the other boys he’d made the mistake of befriending. But it would be the first time he kept quiet about his next big scheme.

He tucked his printed handouts back into his bag. Their pop quiz could wait until next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sort-of sequel to the chapter before this, mostly written in a blur immediately after I finished writing it in 2016, and partly inspired by the guys’ art presentations in their other Angel Comes fanmeet video [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5TbciEknEs).


End file.
